Frequently Answered Questions

Q: So this is a column for print publications? What if I want to publish it on my web page or online publication?

A: Julie says: "I would love more than anything to distribute it that way. However, the column sells for only $15 per insertion. If I were to allow my columns to be published on the Net, within 5 hours they would probably be distributed to several million sites, and what publisher would be willing to download them for payment, if the column has already been read by 30 million people online? I can't live on $15 a week. I can barely feed my gerbils on that. If you can figure out a way for me to distribute it electronically, and still pay my bills, I'm open to suggestions. Until then, it is available only for publication in print form."
To understand why the weekly column can't be reprinted on the Web, please read this letter from Gary Larson, the creator of 'Far Side'.

Q: How do I get the columns?
A: Easy. If you represent a print publication, whether it's nonprofit or commercial, just go to the download page, fill in your contact information, and download the columns of your choice. You can download any column you want, 24 hours a day. Each download carries no obligation to publish the downloaded column and is only then subject to the publication fee. The column includes copyright information and a payment form for your accounting department, payable Net 30. You only pay if you publish. (Downloading the column does not give you distribution rights if you decide not to publish it, so don't print it and send it around the office, please, or Julie and her gerbils will be out on the street.)

Q: Can I get an exclusive to print Julie Benson columns?

A: Nope. (Unless you're very, very wealthy, that is.) Julie believes that humor should be shared. The column is syndicated, so it can appear simultaneously in multiple publications. Syndication means you pay a very nominal fee for this very popular genre; that way the cost per published column is $15 instead of $1200.
Julie has done writing for both newspapers and magazines since 1980, so if you want an exclusive article, contact her. If she can fit it into her schedule, the fee is negotiable.

Q: So you're saying if I distribute to a newspaper circulation of 52,000, I can download the column once and publish it in tomorrow's edition that goes to all 52,000 readers and pay only $15?

A: That's right. As long is it's published within 30 days of the time you download it, there are no extra charges; even if your newspaper's circulation grows to 100,000 or more, there are no extra fees - just a flat rate per column download. And, you can redownload if more than 30 days passes and you decide to publish after all.

Q: Why is there a 30 day expiry date? Why can't I just download a year's worth of columns, then publish one a week in our paper?

A: Humor is very context-sensitive, and Julie is concerned about the freshness and appropriateness of the materials. Political and social circumstances can change very rapidly. Imagine writing a humorous column about the space shuttle astronauts, and then, sadly, having a tragedy like the shuttle explosion happen after the column was written. The humorous column would *not* be the right column to publish after such a tragedy. By limiting the publication time, we can reduce the chance of out of date or inappropriate columns inadvertantly being published. Julie wants you to use your good judgment in circumstances like this.

Q: Why haven't I heard of Julie Benson before?

A: You probably have. Julie's altered ego has been a published writer for almost twenty years. She's written for popular magazines, newspapers, and newsletters, has had letters published in recognized publications, and has one book on the market and two more on the way. However, up until this time, distributing through paper channels, and through traditional syndicates meant a lot of extra time spent doing administration, running to the post office, and well, doing stuff that was clerical. With the advent of the Internet, it's now possible for Julie Benson to concentrate on *writing*, not administrating. Abiogenesis and AB Host have helped Julie set up a system that makes it fast and inexpensive for editors and publishers to download and evaluate the columns syndicated by Classic Concepts, and even to select the ones they'd like to publish, with unprecedented ease. Julie felt that the time was right for electronic distribution which makes it possible to pass the flexibility and savings onto customers who would enjoy her columns.

Q: What if I already have one of the big "B's", why would I want another humor column?

A: If your current column has a different perspective: male, or more political, more seasoned, or just different, you may not be reaching your entire readership. Julie Benson looks at the world through a contemporary female's point of view, with hilarious results, and if your readers would enjoy that, your publication would be enhanced by adding another entertaining viewpoint. The BIG bonus is that the Julie Benson column has no minimums or contract obligations to print the columns in any particular publication or in any order. You can even use them as filler to add spice to space that doesn't have an article yet. That's flexibility!

Q: Do I have to publish all the columns in the order presented here?

A: No! Unlike most big syndicates, Classic Concepts has made the Julie Benson column extremely flexible. If you are a monthly, or twice monthly publication, you can pick and choose your favorite columns (which come out once weekly or more often, for special columns) and publish those in whatever order you wish. This allows you to tailor the choices to your readership. If you are a weekly publication, you will need to download most or all of the columns to make the total 52 per year, but you can shuffle the order around to fit your editorial needs for a particular issue. Few syndicates permit you this degree of flexibility.

Q: What about contracts. What are the minimums?

A: There are no minimums! There's no obligation to publish more columns than you desire. Unlike other distributors, the Julie Benson column is structured as much as possible so you can fit the columns to your publication needs, without being locked into long-term obligations. This also makes it possible for smaller publications to get the column, like users' groups and not-for-profit organizations. There's even a significant discount if you pay quickly.

Q: I'm a publisher. I'd like to publish a compilation of your columns.

A: Talk to Julie. Book publishing rights are negotiable.

Q: So OK, I'm sold! Where do I get them?

A: Just go to the download page, fill in the contact information, select the column, and it will be immediately emailed to you.

Q: So where's this head shot? Our readers will be curious to see what Julie Benson looks like.

A: There she goes, losing her head again. As soon as she extracts it from the dryer (have you seen the trends in hair styles lately?), Julie will upload a downloadable image in TIFF format. Maybe. Julie figures a trip to the dryer is cheaper than one to the salon.

A: Julie thought this FAQ should be livened by slipping in a totally non sequitor, irrelevant piece of trivia, so here it is .... While doing some research, Julie discovered that the leading cause of broken glass on photocopiers was office folks trying to photocopy their nether regions (that's 'buttocks' in more familiar terms). So what happens to all those elicit photocopies, anyway? Is that why they have shredders in offices, in case someone comes along, and you have to quickly destroy the evidence? Can you imagine if some spy snatched all those shreddings and tried to piece them back together, looking for company secrets, and discovered instead Victorian secrets? Stay tuned as Julie grabs her overcoat and magnifying glass and investigates this important topic.

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