The Julie Benson Humor Column Registration Comedy Entertainment

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Download The Julie Benson Column

(For Authorized Editors and Publishers of Print Publications)


What a Deal. TWO sets of columns!

1. Flexible Syndicated Column. Download and read on spec! There's no obligation to print what you download; you pay only for the columns you publish. They're inexpensive enough to use as filler, or as a regular humor feature. The columns available below are written to be suitable for a general newspaper-reading audience and are provided semi-regularly.

2. Off-the-cuff Online Column. You can also read the Julie Benson online column, which is designed in a slightly looser style for online readers. The online column is published as Julie has time. (Julie has to concentrate her efforts on the paid column (and more important projects) to earn her living, unless online readers want to volunteer to pay Julie's rent.)


More columns coming soon---Julie's working on some writing projects that actually pay the bills.

Select the Desired Column and Fill in The Form

Yes, filling out a form is a bother, but it's short and helps maintain distribution integrity.

An invoice is included in each download of the print column, which you are responsible for forwarding to your accounting department if and when each column is published.

Gimme the Syndicated Column

You may download and print the syndicated Julie Benson "Almost True ® " column only if you are an authorized representative of a print publication. Readers and fans can read the column in your local newspaper, newsletter or magazine. There will be lots of online freebie humor on separate Web pages for the online readership, so if you're not a print rep., don't feel left out!

Note: We had troubles before, but we switched ISPs and thanks to AB Host the form works now (11 Oct. 99).


1. Select The Desired Column:
(You can use the Back button to return for additional columns without filling in everything again.)

1 -- One Minute Millionaire, Rated General, 865 words
2 -- Meter Reader Blues, Rated General, 869 words
3 -- Feline Catastrophes, Rated General, 838 words
4 -- Apartment Complexes, Rated General, 872 words
5 -- Planning the Perfect Robbery, Rated General, 867 words
6 -- Transcontinental Mile, Rated General, 864 words
7 -- Private Thoughts on Public Places, General, 876 words
8 -- Caution, This Column May Be Funnier Than it Seems, General, 873 words
9 -- The More Things Change, The More Confused I Get, General, 863 words
10 - Depilatory Queens, General, 870 words
11 - Blackouts, General, 859 words
12 - License to Drive, General, 873 words

2. Provide Contact Information (all fields required):
The column will be automatically sent to your email address as specified here.


IMPORTANT - This is the necessary legal part: By downloading this Column and/or publishing this Column, I agree to all the terms and conditions in the following Copyright and Publication Agreement.

Copyright and Publication Agreement

The Julie Benson Column ("Column") is copyright (c) 1996 onward by the author all rights reserved. Re-publication of this Column requires inclusion of the "Julie Benson" byline in at least 6 point legible type. Including the head shot image is optional. With the exception of absolute minimum editing for length or typographical errors, column editing is not permitted, except with the express written authorization of the author.

Payment of $15 per Column for checks or money orders or payment of $17 per Column for Purchase Orders (NOTE: there is a special rate of $8 per Column for very small publications with circulations of less than 8,000) entitles you to one-time publication of that edition of the Column in one issue of an individual PRINT periodical only, within 30 days of the date of the download. Publication in online publications is expressly prohibited. Multiple publications of the same column are permitted in different publications, provided payment is made for each publication. [See the example below.]

By downloading and publishing the Column you agree to forward the enclosed invoice to the appropriate billing department, and agree on behalf of your publication to pay the stated fee.

Neither the publisher, the author, nor any of the Julie Benson Column affiliates is responsible for any damages, incidental or consequential, arising from the download or publication of these Columns. The publisher and the author reserve the right to bar publication, and to modify, remove or add Columns at any time, for any reason, without prior notice.


Editing Changes. If you have a problem with length or wording, contact Julie to discuss your needs. Julie is flexible, but does not want any material changes or omissions without prior notice.

Book rights. Books rights for a compilation of the columns, are negotiable.
Publication in online publications is not currently permitted due to software piracy, and Julie's need to pay her bills, but may be negotiable. (EMail Julie to discuss this, if you have an idea for how it could work.)


Example: If you publish column number 3 in 20,000 copies of the ABC Herald, and the same column is also published in 138,000 copies of the CDE Daily, you are responsible for payment of $30, that is, $15 for each insertion in a separate publication. If you download the columns on a Purchase Order, there is an additional $2 billing and handling fee on each column for a total of $34, that is, $17 for each insertion in a separate publication.

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