Lost in the Translation
From an esteemed legacy of last name initials, including Buchwald, Bombeck, and Barry, Julie Benson, the 4th B, is a syndicated humor columnist and novelist haunting the treetops of the Pacific Northwet seeking out and sharing rib-tickling stories for her column 'Almost True' ®. Here she shares a sample for your enjoyment.
It's easy to get distracted on the Internet. You're supposed to be doing work and the next thing you know, you're reading a page of jokes, or chatting on IRC, or having trouble finding your way out of an adult site that you just 'accidentally' stumbled onto while searching for something else. Well, the Internet has a lot of serious tools too, like search engines that have built-in translaters, so you can read Web pages written in foreign languages. Well, one man's tool is Julie Benson's toy and no, I'm not referring to those adult sites. I just wanted to see what would happen if I used one of those translation tools to go from English to another language and back again. I was curious to see how much would be lost or changed in the translation. The results were pretty interesting; this is what I got.
Here's the original paragraph in English:
Won't you join me in a romantic toast while splashing in the ocean waves,
a martini in your hand, a port in mine. We'll send caution to the wind and
dip our manes in the cool salt, shaking our heads and spirits free of the
grit and circling bugs, floating on our backs, bellies to the rising moon,
baby fingers touching in a momentary electric spark.
English-Italian-English. Those Italians, always thinking about romance.
This translation turns it into a menage-a-trois
You will not join it in a toasted bread romantic while sprayed in the
waves of the ocean, a martini in your hand, one door in mine. We will
transmit the attention to the wind and will dive our manes in the salt
cold, churning free our witness and alcoholic from granulosity and
surrounding the bugs, floating on ours you leave posterior, bellies to the
increasing moon, barrette of the child that touch in one spark momentary
an electrical worker.
English-Portuguese-English. Here's a picturesque Portuguese
version.
You no join in one who has offered romance to me when sneezing in the
waves of the ocean, one martini in its hand, a gate in mine. We will emit
the care to the wind and will dive ours you flow in the salt cool,
agitating our heads and spirits free of grit and surrounding errors,
floating in our back parts, bellies moon arising itself, fingers of baby
that they touch in one spark electrical momentary.
English-French-English. In the French version, the menage-a-deux gets
surrounded by unexpected visitors.
You will not join to me in a romantic bread grill while splashing in the
waves of ocean, a martini in your hand, a port in mine. We will send the
attention to the wind and will plunge our manes in fresh salt, shaking our
heads and spirits free of the granulation and surrounding of the
anomalies, floating on our backs, bellies the moon Levante, fingers of
baby concerning in spark electric of the moment.
English-German-English. The German version has an interesting solution
to
getting stuff out of their hair.
You do not connect me in a romantic toast when squirting in the ocean
waves, a Martini in its hand, a channel into mine. We send caution to the
wind and immerse our manes in the cold salt, freely rattling our heads and
spirit of the grain and circle to program error, and swim on our
backsides, bellies to the rising moon, the baby fingers, which touch
themselves in an electrical spark momentary.
English-Spanish-English. There's more booze here than in the original
English version.
You not me join in one toasted romantic one whereas it splashes in the
waves of the ocean, martini in its hand, an access in mine. We will send
precaution to the wind and will submerge our manes in the fresh salt,
dusting our heads and alcohol freely of the sand and surrounding operation
failures, floating in our posterior parts, belly to the rising moon,
fingers of baby that touch in a momentary electrical spark.
Well, the translations are pretty good, but I'd still be cautious if I were using them for business negotiations, since some strange anomalies and extra participants sneaked in there in a few places.
The above example was translated to and from European languages, so you would expect a few surprises, but what happens when you go from English to an American dialect? Samuel Stoddard has a fun site on the Web that features the Dialectizer to translate from English to Cockney, Redneck, Moron, or in this case, Jive ...
Won't ya' join me in some romantic toast while splashin' in de ocean waves, a martini in yo' hand, some po't in mine. We'll drow caushun t'de wind and dip our manes in de waaay coo' salt, shakin' our haids and spirits free of de grit and circlin' bugs, floatin' on our backs, bellies t'de risin' moon, baby fin'ers touchin' in some momentary electric spark. Ya' know?
Now all I need to find is some good get-down music and a site that translates into Rap. Oh wait a minute, I was supposed to be doing some writing. Dang, there I go, distracted by the Web once again.
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